Hope Through Healing

Set the Standard, Don’t Match the Energy I came across a quote from Ryan Leak that hit me right between the eyes: “Don’t match the energy. Set the standard.” He shared a story about forgetting to ask for BBQ sauce at an airport restaurant. When he requested it after paying, the server told him it would be 75 cents. Instead of getting irritated, Ryan tipped the guy $10 on top of the small charge. The server's whole attitude changed in an instant. Ryan said he wasn’t going to let someone else’s pettiness set the tone for his day. He chose to set the standard. As believers in Christ, how often do we find ourselves matching the world’s negativity instead of setting the standard for godly behavior? We’ve been given the greatest gift imaginable, eternal life through Jesus Christ. Why would we ever stoop to the standards of a fallen world when we are called to reflect the character of God? Paul gave this charge to a young Timothy: “Don’t let anyone despise your youth, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.” — 1 Timothy 4:12 In other words: Don’t react. Lead. Don’t match. Model. Don’t stoop. Rise. And let’s be honest, no one’s calling me “young” anymore, but this call still applies! At any age, God’s standard is our standard. Let’s take a moment to examine our lives. Are we setting the standard or just mirroring the world? Our Speech Should Be: • Edifying “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” — Ephesians 4:29 • Kind “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” — Proverbs 15:1 • Measured “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” — James 1:19 • Gracious “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” — Colossians 4:6 • Truthful “Therefore, putting away lying, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another.” — Ephesians 4:25 Our Conduct Should Be: • Full of Good Works “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” — Matthew 5:16 • Honorable “Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.” — 1 Peter 2:12 • Dedicated to God “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” — Colossians 3:23 Our Love Should Be: • Sacrificial “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” — John 13:34 • Reflective of God “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” — 1 John 4:7-8 • Unconditional “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Our Faith Should: • Give Hope “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” — Hebrews 11:1 • Provide Guidance “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” — 2 Corinthians 5:7 • Produce Perseverance “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” — James 1:2-3 Our Purity Helps Us: • Experience God's Presence “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” — Matthew 5:8 • Grow in Dependence on God “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” — Psalm 51:10 • Be Useful to God “So if anyone purifies himself from anything dishonorable, he will be a special instrument, set apart, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.” — 2 Timothy 2:21 As believers, we should never settle for what the world considers “good enough.” “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” — Romans 12:2 Let’s be people who set the standard, not with pride, but with purpose. Not to impress, but to reflect the character of Christ.

Be Sure Your Sin Will Find You Out Unless you’ve been off social media this past week, you’ve likely seen Numbers 32:23 come to life in a viral and painful way: “Be sure your sin will find you out.” During a recent concert, suddenly, a hidden infidelity was exposed on a “Kiss Cam” in front of tens of thousands of people and then most likely millions on social media. Hidden sin doesn’t stay hidden forever. And in our world today, infidelity is no rare event, it’s an epidemic! The Reality of Infidelity: • 20% of married men and 13% of married women admit to cheating on their spouse. • 31% of affairs begin in the workplace. • 24% of divorces cite infidelity as the primary cause. Think about that for a moment: 1 in 5 people you know is likely unfaithful and another 1 in 5 is the one being betrayed. The damage doesn’t stop at the affair. It spills over into marriages, children, churches, workplaces, and futures. What does God say about adultery? “You shall not commit adultery.” – Exodus 20:14 “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.” – Proverbs 6:32 “Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned?” – Proverbs 6:27 “The eye of the adulterer waits for twilight, thinking, ‘No eye will see me.’” – Job 24:15 “Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery in his heart.” – Matthew 5:28 God doesn’t just prohibit adultery; He reveals the destruction it causes. Whether physical or emotional, secret or exposed, adultery erodes everything it touches. Where do you stand? Each of us is likely in one of three categories: 1. You haven’t been personally affected, yet. 2. You’ve been the victim of adultery. 3. You’re in, or dangerously close to, an adulterous relationship. If you haven’t been personally affected: Be a faithful friend to those who have. Whether they’re the betrayed or the one who’s fallen, they need grace, truth, and support. Pray for them. Listen to them. Walk with them toward healing. If you’re the victim of infidelity: I am so deeply sorry. I know your heart feels crushed, your trust shattered. You may feel anger, grief, confusion, even shame. Please don’t walk this alone. Talk with trusted friends, pastors, or a counselor. You don’t have to make every decision today. Give yourself space. Let God meet you in the pain. He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). If you’re the one in the affair or flirting with one: Stop! Now! Confess what you’ve done. Don’t wait for it to get worse or be exposed. Yes, it will be painful. It will be messy. But you have a much better chance of saving your marriage if you face the truth today. As Scripture warns, “Be sure your sin will find you out.” The sooner you bring it into the light, the sooner healing can begin. God Offers a Better Way “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us...” – 1 John 1:9 “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” – Psalm 51:10 “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” – Romans 8:1 God calls every one of us, not just to feel bad about sin, but to repent, receive forgiveness, and be restored. The road to healing is hard. But with Christ, it’s possible. If this post stirred something in you, reach out. Whether you need counseling, accountability, or simply someone to pray with you, you are not alone. There is freedom on the other side of truth. There is grace for even the deepest failure.

Priorities Can Make the Difference Between Striving and Abiding To have priority means that something must be dealt with or done first. A priority ranks above or is more important than something else. I like to do a practice called brain dump or mind mapping. It involves writing everything that you must do, need to do, or even think you might do someday, down on paper and get it all in front of you in black and white. The next step is to prioritize. You start ranking in order of importance and pick an item to be number one, two, three, etc. Before I get too far down the list, I start seeing more items that are top priority. So now I have 1, 1a, 1b… Have you ever been there? Can you really have more than one priority? I’d submit that many of us live our lives, professionally, personally, and spiritually having multiple first priorities. This creates stress and anxiety and leads to a life of striving to get everything done. It leaves us with a sense of failure when we miss something. Soon we get to the mindset of: “Nothing in my life is going right.” “Everything I touch goes wrong!” “I’m such a failure!” Sound familiar? Tony Evans is masterful at using illustrations and this is one of his best. A man goes to the doctor with the complaint that his whole body, from head to toe, hurts. The doctor seems skeptical, but the man insists that any place he touches causes him pain. The doctor asks him to touch his forehead. He does and cries out in pain. Touch your elbow, he does, and cries out in pain. The same thing happens with his knee and toe. The doctor says, “I’ve found the problem; you have a dislocated finger!” Hear this: One thing in your life may be causing most of your issues. That one thing: God is not first in your life. But seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. – Matthew 6:33 God knows everything we need and is standing by to provide it as soon as we put Him in first place in our lives. We don’t have to worry and strive for things. We do have to surrender our lives to Him. As my pastor says, each day I choose who will sit on the throne of my life. Will I rule, or will I surrender all authority to God? For much of my life, I was a striver. I asked God to bless my ambitions. I sat on the throne of my life and only got off to let God sit there when I faced something I couldn’t handle. Some of you may relate to this example. For the last 40 years I’ve worked in the corporate world. One of the perks of success and promotion was a bigger and better office. The ultimate was a top floor corner office (I never made that one). I got a lot of satisfaction from getting those offices. I’ve had offices with downtown views and panoramic landscape views. Now I have an office with three windows looking out onto a graveyard and y’all, this is the best office I’ve ever had. I didn’t strive for this one, God provided it! As I’ve been writing this, I’ve literally had two separate conversations with people about the view and that there must be something God is saying through it. Sitting at my desk I can turn to the left and look out the window and I’m met with the largest monument in the graveyard. Picture a miniature Washington Monument but it’s over 30 feet tall. It’s close enough and large enough I can read the inscription on it. I don’t know anything about the person it memorializes, but I do know it is not humble. Someone went to a lot of trouble and expense to be remembered. I wonder if he put God first and lived a life of abiding or if he sat on the throne of his life and strived to get what he wanted. This stands in stark contrast to Moses’ death and burial in Deuteronomy 34:5-7: So Moses the servant of the Lord died there in the land of Moab, according to the Lord’s word. He buried him in the valley in the land of Moab facing Beth-peor, and no one to this day knows where his grave is. Moses made God his priority, lived a life of abiding with God, and all things were provided for him even down to God being his pall bearer and providing his grave site. No fancy monument to remind others of his importance, yet God made sure everyone knew that he was “a servant of the Lord.” I want a legacy like that, don’t you? An obedient, well-lived life, sustained and led by God. How can we get there? Putting God first changes striving to abiding. What does abiding look like? Psalm 23 takes us to a pasture where our Good Shepherd feeds us, waters us, and gives us rest. He guides us, protects us, and shows our enemies He is with us. His goodness and mercy chase us all our lives and He brings us safely out of this troubled world to our eternal home with Him. John 15 takes us to a vineyard that God is tending. We are branches attached to the true vine, Jesus. The vine produces fruit through us if we stay attached to or abide in Him. God prunes us so that we bear even more fruit. Pruning may hurt as He trims away anything that hinders His work through you. But realize, you can’t prune a branch without holding it in your hands. What a picture of how much He cares for us. This pruning keeps us tender and sensitive to His will. What’s required of us? Abide. Stay in the Word. Obey. What’s the result? An abundance of fruit. We prove to be His disciples. God is glorified. We experience love and joy. I can tell you from personal experience life is so much better when you abide instead of strive. Let go of everything you are trying to control in life and give it to God. Put Him on the throne of your life each day. Be contented in His provision. Watch in amazement as He bears fruit through your life.